As the Stars Shine On
by kalina16
Summary: "The people you love will break your heart, my prince. Whether they intend to or not, they will. Such is the way of the world that we live in." Angsty post-Thor 2 rambling. *Spoilers!*


**So I took a quick break from all my cracky parody writing to crank out this. Short, not particularly sweet, and pretty much pointless other than me getting out my feels. Takes place towards the end of the movie.**

* * *

"The people you love will break your heart, Thor. That is the reality of life."

Thor is the human equivalent of age eight when he first hears those words. Young, trusting, and impressionable, he immediately disregards them.

"That's not true!" he cries in his squeaky young voice to Heimdall. The golden eyed guard sighs, gently patting the child on the head.

"So have many claimed before, young prince, yet none have lived to prove it true." Thor merely huffs, folding his chubby arms in a gesture of defiance.

"_I'll_ prove it true. Just you watch. No one's going to break my heart! Especially not the people I love."

"Whether it is their intent to do so or not, my prince, they inevitably will," Heimdall intones. "You love far too much for an immortal prince of Asgard."

"Mother says we should love as much as possible, for if everyone loved more the world would be a better place."

"Your mother speaks with wisdom, my prince. But she too understands that to love, particularly in this life, is to doom oneself to a broken heart. She has merely accepted the pain incurred from her path."

"That sounds very poetic and dramatic, Heimdall, but my heart will hardly shatter at the slightest quiver. Now may we please look into the other realms?"

The guard sighs again, abandoning the issue. "Very well, my prince. Keep in mind my words, though. I fear you will have need of them in the life dealt to you."

So many years later if feels as if he has lived a hundred lifetimes, Thor remembers Heimdall's words with distinct clarity. And how desperately he wished he had listened. He is older, now, a good deal wiser, and far too disillusioned, he thinks as he wanders aimlessly through the wrecked halls of the palace. He has no purpose here, as he has no real purpose in life. Yes, he ought to take the throne, ought to rebuild Asgard, ought to guide his people in this time of great tragedy. But, for the first time in his life, he finds his own tragedy weighs too heavily on his heart to permit him to be a help to others.

He is lost, now. There is no other word for it. Stranded in a plane of disbelief and horror, left adrift in a sea of churning agony and guilt. He is left with a palace full of haunted memories, a dead mother, a dead brother, and a father with a dead heart. He would consider his own heart dead if it did not throb continuously with the sharp pain of loss, reminding him of the enormity of his failure.

_I-I'm a fool._

No, Loki is not the fool. Loki was never the fool. The idea that he would even venture to call himself that is laughable. No, the only fool is Thor. Thor and his accursed ability to love too much, to desperately hold on the tattered threads of the people he once knew, the life he once had. His blind, foolish faith in a father far blinder, his reckless impulses to charge ahead into conflict when he should have remained and listened to Loki, and his complete and utter failure to help those he loves, doomed forever to come a second too late.

Odin should have left him on Midgard.

If he'd had any sense, Odin should have banished him to Midgard ages ago. Should have made him mortal, let him live with his foolish love and stupidity for a mere heartbeat. Should have made Loki king. Should have never let his foolish elder son doom Asgard with his love for one woman, kill his own mother, his _brother_, his people, should have, should have, should have!

He should have been a second sooner.

All his fault.

When his mind is not possessed by the image of his fallen mother, it is dominated by his brother's last moments. Gasping, weak, yet still burning with the same passion he always had.

_I didn't do it for him._

Then who, who did you do it for, Loki? _Why_ did you do it?

Why wasn't Thor there a second sooner to save the brother he'd wronged so greatly.

He passes a demolished hallway and his breathe catches, forcing him to lean against a pillar.

Loki is gone. Loki is gone and he is never coming back. And it's all his fault. If he hadn't left Jane alone so long, if he hadn't brought her to Asgard, hadn't devised another reckless plan…

They would all be alive. And he would be able to tell Loki how truly, _truly_ sorry he was, and how he'd never meant to hurt him so, and how the throne had always belonged to him…and how very deeply he still loved him.

But Loki is gone, along with Frigga and hundreds of other Asgardians. And now he would never know.

The sheer weight of his grief paralyzes Thor, breathes scraping by the agonized beating of his heart, eyes burning with long unshed tears.

There is nothing for him here. Not on Asgard. Not anymore.

He must return to Midgard- he has already decided that. The only thing he is doing here is wasting away, disappointing his father and breaking Sif's heart as he does. There is purpose for him on Midgard, and life. There is Jane, and Darcy, and Dr. Selvig. There is Tony, and Steve, and Bruce, and Natasha, and Clint. There are billions of people without the luxury of an immortal Asgardian life, people in need of protection.

He is only prolonging the inevitable. He knows that returning to Midgard will only resign his life to further heartbreak. Human lives only last a heartbeat, after all.

But he will make that heartbeat matter.

For his mother, for Loki. He will see to it that no one suffers on his account again, no matter the cost to his own heart.

A day later, he finds himself again at the edge of the Bifrost, overlooking the countless stars.

"Heimdall."

"My prince."

His mouth twitches up halfheartedly. "You were right, in the end." The guard shakes his head.

"Such is the way of the world. Though I dearly wish I had not been." Thor shifts, eyes finding the stars.

"That would make two of us, then." He then turns his gaze to the healed bridge, spider-web thin cracks still visible from the rapid regrowth. "Though I do not regret giving that love," he whispers, mind turning to laughing green eyes and adventures long gone.

Heimdall nods. "So it goes." He then hefts his sword, sliding it into the controls. "To Midgard, my prince?"

"To Midgard," Thor breathes. And with a flash of light, he is gone.


End file.
